THE HOT MESSINESS OF TURNING 28

On Friday 27th October, I turn the beautiful age of 28. It’s at the start of the weekend, so you definitely know I will be carried home with whisky for blood. Perhaps not, I might just surprise myself; quit alcohol and torture my friends with vegan birthday dinner (Yiikes…nope…I actually scared myself with the thought).

So no, this is not going to be that kind of post. The kind where I dish out all the wonderful lessons that life has taught me just so I can keep y’all out of trouble or the kind where I waffle on about getting wiser with age. The truth is I am turning 28 and I don’t even remotely have my shit together (does anyone have their -ish together though?) – Also I’m almost going pro with wrestling from constantly fighting​ with my friends, Exhibit A👇

10 years ago in 2008 (yeah I know, I’m already feeling my years) I turned 18 and suddenly the world was my big playground. I finally didn’t have to hide when I snuck-drank a glass of wine at family reunions or even bat an eyelid at my parents’ stink eyes for staying up to watch one of those R18SNL MNet movies. Did I mention that the 18 years old hype never goes away? Yup! Thats the fuel that sustains you and all the bad decisions you make in university. True Story. (Ask Severe. He drinks & knows things. 👇 Sometimes.)

Fast forward to 2010 I remember vividly sitting & drinking rosé with my girls after our 1st year finals and writing down a list of all the things we wanted to be by the time we were 28. The lists had outrageous expectations like marrying Ian Somerhalder (*eye roll*… Vampire Diaries was all the rage then) and having a Riri worthy-bangin’ body but ultimately we all wanted the same things. A thriving career, married to our soul mates with a generous sprinkle of a couple of kids and a happy life. To be fair we were so stupid, so naive and quite possibly very high from the weed our next-door-neighbors were smoking.

Its 2017 and I can with absolute certainty say my future husband is married to Nikki Reed with an adorable girl to tie that perfect package in place. To make this even extra special, Riri’s crop harvest body would definitely laugh my behind to the gym and my thriving career is still in heaven with all the other boss babies because it hasn’t even been birthed yet. (Yes you guessed right, these two are laughing at my Riri jokes 😂.I have a future in stand-up comedy after all!)

For real though, how do people have it together? I’m out here trying to get through the day without spilling food on myself and someone has figured out how to eat a hot-dog without a spot of ketchup or mustard spilling on them. I mean, what barrel of toxic waste does a girl gotta climb into to get these super powers?

Superhero fantasies aside, Hi I’m Florentina. I am 28 years old and I’m the urban dictionary definition of a hot mess . There I said it. (Also these are my uber cool friends who are dinosaurs & don’t know bunny ears were outlawed years ago😂)

I meet so many people who are barely 30 years that confess that they feel they’re absolute failures. I mean what kind of effed-up world are we living in that a person who is only starting their life, feels like they’re already a loser.

Is it how we have been conditioned that if you don’t accomplish your goals, then your entire life crumbles. If that giant corporate firm doesn’t hire you or your boyfriend of 5 years doesn’t propose, then have basically screwed up your life. Who in the bloody hell, sets this standards? Is it the social order or do we do this to ourselves?

You want to know what the truth is? “NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL THEY’RE DOING” and I have to agree with Mark Manson on this. Just because I haven’t written my novel or started my own consultancy firm or opened my own fancy cake shop doesn’t mean that my life is in ruins & my next stop is at my grand-papa’s asking to be a laborer at his matooke plantation (which wouldn’t be so bad, I adore my grandparents) – Probably not as much as So Severe adores this Jameson’s alcohol percentage.

Most folks wouldn’t admit it but they’re basically winging it. They’re also still figuring out their part of the threads that make up the vast tapestry of the world. It’s okay to still feel this way, you probably will for a good part of your adult life. We are constantly evolving & changing that our goals change to. Change is not failure, it’s a plot twist. I’ve had countless conversations with RSP & So Severe (who are some of the smartest people I know) and they constantly remind me that in the grand scheme of things, I first and foremost matter the most. I should do something because it brings me pleasure & happiness. Every other person comes after me. If something doesn’t work, then I’m allowed to do something else.

So here is the genuine wisdom from a hot mess 28-ish sage to a kindred spirit;  You probably already know what you have to do. You probably don’t want to start because ‘procrastinator’ is your middle name & failure to pick yourself up after things have gone awry is your ‘kryptonite’. Yes, it will be difficult & scary, but then again everything worthwhile is. Will you survive? Absolutely! (that’s where all the fun dinner stories come from)

Here is to being a hot mess & still going for world domination. 😊

PS: You will see random pictures of my amazing friends that have no business being in this post but have every reason to be in my life. Be Nice. They mean the world to me.💓

📷 credit: So Severe & Ben.T.K

 

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11 Comments

    1. Thank you Michael. Happy birthday in advance 🎉. Turning 29 & still have no idea how it’s done, welcome to the club 😊. As a birthday gift, I recommend you go read as much of Mark Manson’s literature as you can find. The man makes navigating the murky waters a little easier. Enjoy your 29th birthday.

  1. Couldn’t help but notice your bright smile. This is a beautiful post and totally relatable, I picked some ideas too. What is your favourite chocolate?

  2. Turning 28 as well and goodness😳.This caught my eye and blew my mind seated here reflecting thanks for the pointers too❤️Happy birthday🍸

    1. Hey Takh, Happy early birthday. Turning 28 scared me to death but I’m so glad you enjoyed reading this post & hopefully my tiny bits of wisdom helped. Its good on this side of 28, I promise.

  3. I enjoyed reading this. 😊

    You’re an awesome person Flo, and you have achieved things that I am still procrastinating about (Hello MBA 😊). The dots may not connect yet, But they tend to connect looking backwards.

    And, if you ever feel like you don’t have your shit together and feeling all sad about it, remember me, trying to switch careers at 30 with a family to put into consideration.

    Lots of love.

    1. Did I ever tell you’re one of the people who encouraged me to be brave? It’s wonderful that I found a kindred spirit in you.

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